Monthly Archives: September 2011

How I Asked For An Amazon Kindle Fire

Hey beautiful how are you doing this morning?  Oh this?  This is just the breakfast I made you, I thought you might enjoy having it in bed.  What do I want?  I want the same thing I have wanted since we got married, for you to be the happiest woman alive.  But since you asked there is something I would love to tell you about.

First off, do you realize that you look just as young as you did when we first met?  That is just amazing to me.  Second did you know that Amazon is getting ready to release their own tablet called the Amazon Kindle Fire?

What is a tablet you ask?  You know what the Ipad is?  Kinda like that.  So why would one need a tablet, oh my dear there are so many reasons.

You know how you don’t like my Kindle because you can’t really read magazines on it?  Well the Fire is in color, plus not only can you get magazines on it, but some magazines will include audio and interactive articles specifically for the Fire.  So you say you’re not really into magazines?  Wow I didn’t realize this until just now but it really looks like you have lost quite a bit of weight lately, you are looking good.

I remember just the other day you were complaining that my Ipod Touch’s screen was too small & you wished it was a little larger for when you want to play games on it.  Well you’ll be happy to know the Fire has a 7″ display.  What do you mean too big?  How is it my Ipod is too small, but the Fire is too big?  Who are you goldie locks?  I mean…….you skin is looking fantastic.  I can tell you have gotten a lot of sun & that moisturizer is doing wonders!

I know you love your laptop but also hate carrying it around with you all the time.  Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to have a small device on our living room table that you could pick up and just surf the net to your heart’s delight?  Of course you can still type…….the keyboard is on the touchscreen……no it’s not really that difficu……I’m sure you can learn to….we haven’t spent much time with your mother we should go out & eat with her this weekend.

Alright lastly, you know that little child that you’re planning on spitting out in March of next year?  You know I can’t wait to read to that little booger, did you know that the Amazon Fire allows you to download full children’s books, illustrations and all?  Well yes you can just buy the “normal” books at the store…..this is faster because it can download it in just a few minut…….you can still keep & collect the books it saves it in the Amazon Cloud……what do you mean it’s not the same?

Fine.  You know those new shoes you really wanted to buy but I said it is ridiculous and no one should pay that much for shoes + you already have over 80 pairs?  You get that I get this.  Deal? Deal.  Kid doesn’t need to go to college anyway.

So in summation I have pre-ordered the Amazon Fire & cannot wait for it to be released on November 15th.  On a some-what unrelated note my kid is going to have a lot of student loans.



Filed under Humor, Writing

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Trying The Twitter Thing…..Don’t Judge Me

Yes all the rumors you have heard are true I am trying out the Twitter thing.  I know all the cool kids are doing it with their baggy jeans, walking around with their walk-men, listening to that new-fangled rock & roll music.  Yet there is a reason behind this, outside of trying to get to sit at the cool lunch table.

One of the things I love about WordPress is the community.  I love discovering and reading different blogs & as many of you know I love commenting and sharing my demented thoughts.  There are times (mostly at work as I try to accomplish as little work as humanely possibly) that I will peruse blogs until my eyes bleed.  Now I have found quite a few bloggers that I like to follow & seem to share a lot of common interests with. So when I find a post that I think others would like, I want them to know about it.

So the goal behind my Twitter is when I find an interesting post I can let others know about it.  Not only that but I try to update my blog 2x a week (mostly Saturdays & Wednesdays) but things do come up, so whenever I post a new blog I will make sure it goes out through my Twitter feed.  So if I don’t do my scheduled Wed/Sat update people who follow me will still know when another horrible post has gone up.

Don’t worry I have no intentions of sharing what I plan on eating for breakfast/lunch/dinner or sharing what my exciting plans for tonight are that have nothing to do with you what-so-ever.  So if you are a part of the Twitter craze feel free to follow me @ TaureanWriter



Filed under Writing

How Best To Exploit My (Future)Child

As many of you are aware my wife is currently pregnant.  This is our first child together which means that our lives are soon going to change very drastically.  This also means while my spawn is cooking in her belly we need to start making plans for the future.  Safety proofing the house, setting up its room, setting up a college fund, finding a babysitter, and finding ways to exploit it for my financial gain.

There is the Professional Athlete road.  Most professional sports pay very well but it would be in my best interest if I steered them towards basketball, football, or baseball.

Based on my extensive research it appears that is the best way to get a big paycheck down the road, as well as various houses and cars.  The downfall of course is that this can be time consuming and cost money.  I will have to take them to various practices and games, not to mention getting them into athletic camps to help mold them into a human money generator.  Not only that but I will have to push them incredibly hard and make sure they realize the only way to get daddy’s love is to be the best, which could take a lot of work on my part.  Plus there is the Tiger Woods scenario where they will make a ton of money but due to the physiological issues  of not having a normal childhood they will do something incredibly stupid.  Sure I will already have a great payday but it could be embarrassing when I try to go hang out at the country club.

Then there is the musical prodigy route.

Musical artists make lots of money and due to their popularity can start new trends.  This will give me an extra source of revenue once I start a new brand of clothing in their image.  There are some risks though.  One, they might not have any musical talent, which isn’t necessarily required but can make it harder to break into the biz.  Second in order to gain popularity I will need to have my prodigy dress “risque”, so if my child is a girl then is a possibility for early pregnancy due to the inappropriate clothing they will have to wear.  This will not generate any money & could actually cost me money down the road.

These are only a couple of the things I am considering at this time.  My wife is not due until March so I have plenty of time to come up with ideas before I have to start implementing them.  My wife has not been much help though as she seems to have a problem with the whole “exploitation” thing, but I am sure I can get her to come around to my way of thinking.


Also just in case I haven’t made it clear, I’m kidding  🙂


Filed under Humor, Life

The Robopocalypse NonReview

I don’t do reviews because I do not feel I have the knowledge to tell someone accurately if they should or should not read something.  With that said sometimes I like to talk about books I have read and share my feelings about the story.  So without further ado here is my nonreview

By Daniel Wilson

I decided to get this book after I heard that Steven Speilberg had signed on to direct a feature adaption.  I know horrible reason to decide to read a book but the combination that Speilberg was interested in it plus the premise meant I had to give it a try.  For those that don’t know Robopocalypse tells the story of what happens when an artificial intelligence sets out to destroy mankind.  It starts from the creation of the AI, to the beginning, ultimately the end of the war from various viewpoints.

First off I will agree it does share a lot of similarities with Max Brooks World War Z: A Oral History of the Zombie War, which is also being made into a movie starring Brad Pitt.  I think I enjoyed World War Z a little more, but at the same time I appreciated that Robocalypse follows the same group of characters throughout the story, whereas World War Z is more a series of connected stories set in the same universe.

Usually I can tell how much I enjoy a book based on where I read it and how long it takes.  🙂 I always read right before bed whether the book be fascinating or something I’m just trying to get through.  If I read during my breaks at work that means I’m really into the book.  And if I read at home in the middle of the day then I am truly in love with the book.  With Robopocalypse I read it during work and “considered” reading it while at home, but due to finishing it in about 6 days I didn’t have the opportunity.  So take that how you will.

If you are a fan of World War Z you have to check this thing out.  Also if you are interested in any kind of survival or war chronicles type of book then I would also recommend.  If Steven Speilberg does end up turning this into a movie I will definitely show up and inevitably be disappointed that it is not as good as the book!


Filed under NonReviews

What Is Your Success?

I asked my wife to read some of my work-in-progess the other day (which is a separate blog in-and-of-itself) when she asked me something I hadn’t really thought about.  She asked where I wanted to go with my writing.  I naturally said I just wanted to get published and succeed, then she followed up with What do you mean succeed?

Success means something different to everyone but it can vary wildly with writers.  Some simply want to finish a story with no hope of publication.  Some want to be the next Stephen King or John Grisham and sell millions.  And then others want to create the next great American novel, sales be damned!  Myself I don’t really want any of these things.

I’m not expecting that I will one day be able to depend on writing as my only source of income.  I’m also not under the impression that my writing will change the way stories or told, or go on to win dozens of awards.  My hope is that I will continue to have the ability to write and have those that want to read what I create.  Whether it be my children, a few relatives, a couple dozen followers, hundreds of book readers, or thousands of fans.  I enjoy writing and even more-so I enjoy telling stories.

I look forward to the day that I hold a brand new book in my hands that happens to be my own creation, with my name scrawled on the front and features a picture of my ugly mug on the author bio.  I look forward to the day that someone is waiting to read my next story and picks it up the day it is released.  Simply knowing there are people traveling in the worlds I have created, interacting with the characters that have sprung forth from my demented mind, and enjoying the experience I have crafted for them.  Whether it be one or one thousand, it doesn’t matter much to me.

So basically success to me means continuing to tell stories to those that are interested.  What is your success?


Filed under Writing

Like A Good Vampire Hunter You Must Find The Heart

As I stated in a recent blog my current Work In Progress centers around a person who does some really bad things.  The story basically consists of his POV, the POV of a cop, and then littered throughout is the story are flashbacks of how the main character came to be this way.

Now I started writing the POV of the main character and kept running into roadblocks.  As my prior blog touched on I struggled with making sure he didn’t come off as merely a psychopath, but have more layers and hopefully even be sympathetic.   Well after a lot of struggling I decided to take some time and begin writing the flashback sequences and that is when I found, THE HEART.

I have a basic outline of what happens in the story and who the main character is, but as anyone knows things “evolve” as you write them.  I was trying to write a character I didn’t fully understand.  The flashbacks changed from simply being about the trying times of his life to also encompassing the normal times as well.  You can’t understand what someone has lost if you don’t know what they had.  So naturally you can’t say what someone will become because of these losses if you don’t show how they have changed his life.

Suddenly I have begun to better understand the character and can have him drive the story to where it needs to go, instead of simply trying to force it where I want it to go.

Hopefully this is understandable and doesn’t just come off as the ramblings of a madman.  Basically I guess the point I am trying to make is that today I learned that a story is usually better told from the beginning.  Who’da thunk it?


Filed under Writing