How I Asked For An Amazon Kindle Fire

Hey beautiful how are you doing this morning?  Oh this?  This is just the breakfast I made you, I thought you might enjoy having it in bed.  What do I want?  I want the same thing I have wanted since we got married, for you to be the happiest woman alive.  But since you asked there is something I would love to tell you about.

First off, do you realize that you look just as young as you did when we first met?  That is just amazing to me.  Second did you know that Amazon is getting ready to release their own tablet called the Amazon Kindle Fire?


What is a tablet you ask?  You know what the Ipad is?  Kinda like that.  So why would one need a tablet, oh my dear there are so many reasons.

You know how you don’t like my Kindle because you can’t really read magazines on it?  Well the Fire is in color, plus not only can you get magazines on it, but some magazines will include audio and interactive articles specifically for the Fire.  So you say you’re not really into magazines?  Wow I didn’t realize this until just now but it really looks like you have lost quite a bit of weight lately, you are looking good.


I remember just the other day you were complaining that my Ipod Touch’s screen was too small & you wished it was a little larger for when you want to play games on it.  Well you’ll be happy to know the Fire has a 7″ display.  What do you mean too big?  How is it my Ipod is too small, but the Fire is too big?  Who are you goldie locks?  I mean…….you skin is looking fantastic.  I can tell you have gotten a lot of sun & that moisturizer is doing wonders!

I know you love your laptop but also hate carrying it around with you all the time.  Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to have a small device on our living room table that you could pick up and just surf the net to your heart’s delight?  Of course you can still type…….the keyboard is on the touchscreen……no it’s not really that difficu……I’m sure you can learn to….we haven’t spent much time with your mother we should go out & eat with her this weekend.

Alright lastly, you know that little child that you’re planning on spitting out in March of next year?  You know I can’t wait to read to that little booger, did you know that the Amazon Fire allows you to download full children’s books, illustrations and all?  Well yes you can just buy the “normal” books at the store…..this is faster because it can download it in just a few minut…….you can still keep & collect the books it saves it in the Amazon Cloud……what do you mean it’s not the same?

Fine.  You know those new shoes you really wanted to buy but I said it is ridiculous and no one should pay that much for shoes + you already have over 80 pairs?  You get that I get this.  Deal? Deal.  Kid doesn’t need to go to college anyway.

So in summation I have pre-ordered the Amazon Fire & cannot wait for it to be released on November 15th.  On a some-what unrelated note my kid is going to have a lot of student loans.

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20 Comments

Filed under Humor, Writing

20 responses to “How I Asked For An Amazon Kindle Fire

  1. The most exciting thing about this, for me, is that the original Kindle just got way cheaper. I’ve been waiting to buy one. Now I’ve got to try your method for asking.

  2. I never heard him ask, lol

    DarkJade-

  3. Ahhh, this made me laugh! Did your plea work? Are you getting one?

  4. I love my Kindle, love having my library at my fingertips. I also love the batterylife. I’m interested in the Fire feedback.

  5. Oooh the Fire! I have people at work telling me to get a Galaxy tablet instead, but there is something about Kindle that rocks the world. The price rocks, too!

    • Yeah the price is the BIG difference maker. I have been looking into tablets but couldn’t get with the $300+ price range, so the Fire’s price made my ears perk up!

  6. Madison Woods

    This was so funny. Loved how you didn’t ask, lol. I recently broke down and bought the Kindle. Now I feel like a traitor because I’ve been downloading books left and right. I’m good with this for now though and don’t feel the fire to have the Fire yet.

    • It’s amazing how much more I seem to read now that I have a Kindle. Also I’m willing to take a chance on other books because 1) They’re usually cheaper & 2) If I don’t like it I can have another book within a minute!

  7. I absolutely love my Kindle, so when I saw the Fire I was geeked! Love your methods of negotiation. -grins- Just tell the kid to work harder for scholarships. :-p Priorities and all demand that the Kindle Fire come first.

  8. Cynthia Bigrigg

    First of all, thank-you for your encouraging words on my Adventures In Being Broke blog!
    Secondly, this is epic. It has kind of a Dane Cook ring to it in the beginning, which I love. Keep up the flattery. 🙂

  9. I love the prelude to your request. I have to learn the art of flattery. And, if you are this funny before the child. Can’t wait to read your story when it comes.

  10. Amazon makes a great product. I’ve had a Kindle since Christmas and have thoroughly enjoyed it. Hope you will enjoy the Fire.

  11. That was about as subtle as a brick upside the head, but your wife is probably on to you, anyway.

  12. Well, my fiance didn’t schmooze me quite that much, but I’m convinced. Kindle Fire, Baby!

  13. That is probably one of the most hysterical exchanges…love it, every bit and piece…and yes, I’m still laughing!

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