I will admit that I used to sing along with music in my car. I also may have “moved” to the music. Not full on dancing mind you, but enough movement that someone in an adjacent car would be thoroughly convinced that I was either psycho or having a minor seizure. Those were the times that I was at my happiest. The singing and dancing wasn’t the cause it was the result. When everything was going great in my life I would lose myself to the moment acting a fool and singing along to a song that I probably hated. I bring this up because it had been over 5 years since the last time I had gotten lost like this.
The last time this happened I was on my way back home from college. I wasn’t heading home for the weekend but for my wife and I’s wedding and Honeymoon in good ole Disney World. This was also unfortunately the weekend I lost my mother and sister in a car accident. For those of you who have been following me for awhile this is already something I have blogged about. Things of course changed after that and I did a LOT of growing up shortly after.
I almost stopped listening to music entirely. The main reason initially was when I listened to music I couldn’t control my emotions. I never returned because it was only in moments of pure joy that I got lost and acted like an idiot. It wasn’t that I didn’t have my share of happy moments afterwards but for the first time in my life I had real problems that seemed to prevent me from achieving that pure I-don’t-care-if-I-look-like-an-idiot-or-lack-any-muscial-talent happiness.
Now I said at the beginning it HAD been 5 years since the last time I had done this. This last Monday I was driving home from work and realized that I was not only “moving” to the music but I was also butchering the song I was listening to on the radio. This just happened to be the same day my wife and I found out that the little creature growing in her belly is a BOY!!! When I realized what I was doing & why, I may have shed a tear or two 🙂
I can’t express in words how excited (and at the same time terrified) I am for this little guy to get into the world. I hope that I will be able to provide for him the same way my parents provided for me. I always regretted that I couldn’t pay my mother back for all she did for me, all the sacrifices she made. Yet if I was able to provide her with even one moment like the one I had this past Monday because of my future child, then maybe I already had. Having so much joy that your body can no longer contain it causing it to spew forward in the form of horrible car-dancing and singing is priceless.
So in summation if you drive past a Kia Forte that is emanating an unearthly sound & also happens to contain an individual convulsing uncontrollable, don’t call 911. That is just me being excited for my future son.