Monthly Archives: November 2011

The Daddy Chronicles: The Horrors Of Baby Registries

The Daddy Chronicles will follow my misadventures of learning how to be a father.  My wife is due on March 4th, the preparation is under way….

 

 

The baby registry sounds so simple,  you make a list of baby stuff you want & then it magically appears.  Not only that but you can create baby registries online.  So I had this grand vision of sitting on my butt in my pajamas, sleep-crust still blocking most of my peripheral vision, coffee in one hand, one eye on the registry, the other on my TV.  Oh how very wrong I was.

At first it was simple, the wife & I started up a baby registry on Amazon.  Then I was advised that we need to have a nice mix of items we want (i.e. the more expensive luxury items), things we need (apparently babies don’t know how to use the bathroom & need to be feed daily), and “throw-in items”.  Now throw-in items were explained to me as items that people will purchase because they’re cheap & cute.  OR are items that less financially-able individuals are able to purchase so they can get you something but aren’t put in a bind.  Already way more thought then I was planning on putting into this.

Then I was advised that we have to go to these ancient ruins known as “stores” to also create additional baby registries.  As not everyone shops online!?!  Imagine my surprise when I am told there are individuals who still do the majority of their shopping in these ancient relics.  I remember hearing about lost tribes in the amazon that are found & have no idea there are more technological advanced cultures out there.  So if you were to hand them a lighter they would think it was witchcraft.  As we walked through these brick & mortar stores I couldn’t help but wonder if I would get the same reaction if I showed them a laptop with Amazon.com on it.   Three stores later our registries are complete, I’m exhausted, and after avoiding old ladies pushing shopping carts all day am reminded as to why I don’t like people.

Yes I know these are the very definition of 1st-World problems.  As people in Africa are battling just to find food I am complaining about making a glorified wishlist.

Already though I am beginning to realize this whole “having a kid” thing might not be all fun & games  🙂

Follow me @ TaureanWriter

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Writing In The Rain

It is fact that there is not anything more relaxing  as writing in the rain.  Sitting next to a dark window, with your computer screen as the only illumination, listening to the rain as strikes the window & rolls gently to the ground.  Listening to the wind blow past heading to parts unknown.  The rain falling from the heavens seeing the world as a whole then quickly disappearing into it. I’m convinced that writing in the rain is what I was put on this earth to do  🙂

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Twitter Makes Me Feel Old

I’m 30 years old, Twitter makes me feel like I’m 70.  There was a time when I had mastered everything technological.  Having problems with your modem, move aside & let me work.  What do you mean you’re having problems getting onto AOL, let me handle that for you.  Yes I know the difference between RAM & Hard Drive can be a little tricky let me explain.  As the years have went by technology is starting to look more & more like Egyptian hieroglyphs.

Take Twitter for example.  I expected to storm onto ‘Twitter, master it in a couple of hours, and then leave it as the unquestioned ruler.  Instead I stumbled onto twitter with my shirt untucked, shoe laces untied,  & a booger hanging from my nose.  Why can’t I type anymore?  Why am I on that list?  What does # mean?  Why would I want to follow Asthon Kutcher?  Why is the person I followed tweeting every 5 minutes detailing their bathroom break.  Needless to say I wet myself & fled screaming at the top of my lungs. 

Since then I have humbly returned and am slowly attempting to learn the intricacies of the twitter-verse.  That person who was tweeting every 5 minutes?  I gave them the ole AOL “GOOD BYE”.  I now understand the character restriction.  Still refuse to follow Ashton Kutcher.  And will fully admit # still baffles me.  Yet I have found a group of people I like to follow & who entertain me.  I have also learned to utilize twitter by telling everyone about my new posts & sharing really good posts I have read.

So in summation I still feel like I need to sign up for AARP whenever I get on twitter but I no longer feel like my hip is going to break.  If you all have any suggestions for people to follow who are entertaining let me know!

Follow me on twitter @TaureanWriter

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My Typical Saturday

My Saturdays are nothing if not predictable.  Since I have shared many things with you all I felt it was appropriate to share with you what a typical Saturday is like in my world.

7:30 am:  Wake up with a big smile on my face.  It’s Saturday.  Endless possibilities.  So many things I can do, no requirements or mandates to do any of them.  I promptly go to the computer and check out my morning news

9:00 am:  My beautiful wife finally stirs from her seemingly endless slumber.  We say our good mornings, she makes me a cup of wonderful coffee & proceeds to make the best breakfast I have had since last Sat.

10:30 am:  After taking a shower & brushing my teeth I am ready to take on the world, which on a Saturday means watch College Gameday until the games start

Noon:  By now I have gotten bored with watching college football and wonder, yet again, why I get so excited for something that only entertains me for a few hours.  I come to the realization that half the day is almost over and I haven’t been that productive.  I brush it aside with the knowledge that I still have the 2nd half of the day to get some writing done, complete some yard projects, get my work-out on, and work on my man-cave downstairs.

2:30 pm:  I happen to look at my watch and realize that I have been sitting on my ass watching college football since noon.  I curse myself, grab my laptop, and plop down in my man-cave to get some writing down

4:00 pm:  My laptop remains off & sitting on my lap as I continue to watch college football while also thinking about all the things I want to do with my man-cave.  Again the realization that the day is coming to an end scrolls across my mind, only this time I get a brief glimpse of the depression that is in my future if I fail to complete at least some of the things I had planned for today.

6:00 pm:  My wife is almost finished with dinner and wants to watch a movie while we eat.  I can no longer start any of the yard projects as I will not have any time to complete them.  Also this crosses off working on the man-cave because what is the point of starting a project when we are soon going to be in there watching a movie?  I could still get some writing completed or at the very least get my workout on so I will have an appetite for dinner.

6:30 pm:  Dinner is ready.  I have spent the last 30 minutes pondering upon what I was going to do before it was ready.  On an unrelated note college football is playing in the background.

9:00 pm:  The movie is over.  The day is essentially over.  I fall into a deep depression knowing that I have not accomplished a single thing for the entirety of the day.  My wife grows tired with my depression and goes to bed soon after.  I sit in the living room feeling sorry for myself.  College football plays on the TV, I only half watch it.

11:00 pm:  College football is no longer on TV.  Within the next hour I have completed a project in my man-cave, and completed a couple of chapters on my WIP.  I’m still partially in my depression but in the back of my mind I have hope that next Saturday will be different.

I’m still uncertain what it is the prevents me from getting work done.  This is something that I think I will continue to struggle with for many more years.  Or to be more accurate from August to January every year  🙂

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I Want To Have Amazon’s Baby

 

I like Amazon…..a lot.  I’m not talking about the sweet standing outside Amazon’s window with a stereo above my head playing music kinda way.  More like the creepy hiding in the bushes, and cutting off locks of their hair kind of way.  Now before you start judging me there are a lot of reasons.

First off I hate stores.  To be honest not the stores themselves but the people who populate the stores.  From the old ladies that attempt to run you over with their carts to the I-Don’t-Know-What-Personal-Space-Is shopper who has to rub up next to me while they peruse the shelves.  So being able to shop at home, in my underwear with the remnants of the entire sleeve of oreos I just ate all over my shirt, brings a smile to my face. 

Second is the Amazon Kindle.  I didn’t realize how badly I needed an e-reader until I actually had one & began reading a book a week.  There is nothing like finishing a good book, jumping online, finding another book, and starting it within a minute.

Third is the Kindle Lending Library.  The only thing better then being able to shop for books online is getting them free when you find the one you want.  For those of you who don’t know about this yet you have to check it out.  Now it may not be for everyone since you have to be a part of Amazon Prime to use it.  Initially Amazon Prime ($79/year) simply gave you free 2 day shipping & 1 day shipping for 3.99, but since then they have added a ton of streaming movies you can watch for free.  I thought it was a good deal when all I was getting was the free 2 day shipping.

Yes I’m aware this is basically free advertisement for them but it’s my hope that you all will see just how wonderful Amazon.com is & check it out for yourself…….and also that Amazon will drop that completely unnecessary restraining order, that whole incident was just a misunderstanding.

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A Week (Or Two) Without Writing

 

As the rest of the world gets its Write On I have to admit I have been on a bit of a writing break.  There are a lot of reasons some valid (most not) but it is something I have defintely been missing.  Writers are strange creatures.  For most of us writing is both a blessing and a curse.  It is something that provides us with infinite pleasure & when we attempt to get our work published, infinite frustration.  With that said writing is simply a part of who we are, take it away and we are less then what we were.

As I have in the past I would like to let you all know what has been kick starting my muse.  If you haven’t seen the movie Crazy Stupid Love you must see it now.  Seriously stop reading now & go watch it.  I’ll include the trailer to give you all a taste but the trailer really doesn’t do it justice.  For those of you who have already seen it you already understand.

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As always I want to thank you all of you will follow along with me & provide me with hours of post-reading joy.  Until then!

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Creating A Story The Never Ends

I read a lot of books & watched a LOT of tv as a kid.  Some of those stories that I can remember bits and pieces from, others I can just remember the emotion they invoked.  Yet there is one story that I remember very vividly because of the way it made me feel & the way it opened up my mind.  That “story” is the movie A Never Ending Story.

I haven’t watched it in a couple of years but the last time I did I remember it had a little more cheese then I had remembered as a kid, but still gave me those same emotions it did to little me all those decades ago.

That got me wondering exactly what about it meant so much to me.  As a kid I loved to read & there were so many times when I wished I could meet the characters of my book and actively join them in their adventures instead of simply following them.  In The Never-Ending Story this pretty much comes true.

The part of that story that caused me to jump to my feet as a child (and I will admit the last time I watched it several years ago) was when the main character comes back to the real world and confronts the bullies that were picking on him.  Here’s a little reminder.

And the little, “But That’s Another Story” at the end really got to me.  I wanted to know what happened next, I didn’t want to leave the world, I wanted to continue following the main character.  And that is my goal.  To create characters that a reader never wants to part with.  To create a world that the reader never wants to leave.  So even when my story is over those characters and that world still take up a tiny place in that readers mind.  So years can pass but those feelings stick with that person and cause them to share the story with others.  So no matter how old the story is it continues to live on in the hearts and minds of all those who read it.

 

Follow me on twitter @TaureanWriter

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