As my wife and I get closer to the birth of our first child I can’t shake this feeling of pure excitement & terror. We are given the ability to love people with all our heart but the more we love them the harder it is when we lose them. Those of you who have followed me for awhile know that I lost my mother and sister to an auto accident & my father recently to health problems. Due to this I will admit that for every burst of excitement that runs through my body another burst of fear shoots through my head. 🙂
I can lay next to my wife and feel my son rumbling around in her stomach and it brings a smile to my face. I know this little guy has the potential to go from a fragile little baby, into a rambunctious young boy, to a headstrong teenager, and finally into a man. I also know the harsh truth of the world, we are not promised anything. Just as quickly as he is given to me he can be taken away. I know that no matter what I do I will not be able to protect him from the world.
I know this fear is something that comes to all new parents regardless of what has happened in their past. I know this fear is just as big as the love I currently have for this little person I have only glimpsed in grainy video. I will do as all of us do, I will love and I will do everything in my power to protect my loved ones.
As I sit here typing I have a smile on my face and I’m convinced every butterfly in the world is currently contained in my stomach. For those of you who have followed me I thank you. This blog started as a way to keep my butt motivated in writing, and has evolved into also helping me fight through the issues that life has thrown my way. Reading your comments and following your own journeys has provided me with more joy then you know. Knowing that you all are going to be with me as I take the next step in my life brings me more comfort then it probably should :-p Thanks
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