Learning To Be Vulnerable

As my wife and I get closer to the birth of our first child I can’t shake this feeling of pure excitement & terror.  We are given the ability to love people with all our heart but the more we love them the harder it is when we lose them.  Those of you who have followed me for awhile know that I lost my mother and sister to an auto accident & my father recently to health problems.  Due to this I will admit that for every burst of excitement that runs through my body another burst of fear shoots through my head.  🙂

I can lay next to my wife and feel my son rumbling around in her stomach and it brings a smile to my face.  I know this little guy has the potential to go from a fragile little baby, into a rambunctious young boy, to a headstrong teenager, and finally into a man.  I also know the harsh truth of the world, we are not promised anything.  Just as quickly as he is given to me he can be taken away.  I know that no matter what I do I will not be able to protect him from the world.

I know this fear is something that comes to all new parents regardless of what has happened in their past.  I know this fear is just as big as the love I currently have for this little person I have only glimpsed in grainy video.  I will do as all of us do, I will love and I will do everything in my power to protect my loved ones.

As I sit here typing I have a smile on my face and I’m convinced every butterfly in the world is currently contained in my stomach.  For those of you who have followed me I thank you.  This blog started as a way to keep my butt motivated in writing, and has evolved into also helping me fight through the issues that life has thrown my way.  Reading your comments and following your own journeys has provided me with more joy then you know.  Knowing that you all are going to be with me as I take the next step in my life brings me more comfort then it probably should  :-p       Thanks

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8 Comments

Filed under The Daddy Chronicles

8 responses to “Learning To Be Vulnerable

  1. Exciting stuff man

    Gratz, and Good Luck to you

    DarkJade-

  2. Only believe my brother. I lost my dad suddenly many years ago, maybe when I was your age, and it shook my life. But I always try to look at it as making room for an new life, which it does. One day I’ll make room for another promising young soul. I have the luxury of experience, four children and two grandchildren worth. They are a gift that keeps on giving. Just know that the fears you have are normal and that you will be well, as will be your wife and son.

  3. What a rollercoaster ride you’re on!. Nothing prepares you for it. And you are even more vulnerable than most becasue of your past history. Keep breathing deeply. That sounds corny, I know, but there are studies that say:
    Adrenalin + oxygen = excitement
    Adrenalin – oxygen = fear.

  4. Definitely a daunting prospect and it’s something my husband and I have been thinking a great deal about. It does show though how much you love your little guy, even before his grand appearance in the world, and just for that alone, your son is truly blessed.

  5. I remember. My son is almost 26 and I still sometimes think about his and my vulnerability.

    One of the worst times in his infancy days was when my husband and I had to make decisions about who his guardians would be if something happened to us. Talk about feeling the vulnerability up close and personal…

    You’ll get through it. There’s something about seeing your baby and holding him that erases a lot of the worries. Joy and love are powerful antidotes to all those fears. 🙂

  6. Just remember to love and live in the moment. You will be a great father, I’m sure of it. Yes, we must be vulnerable but know how to get back up again. You definitely have this ability within you. Your son has a great father (and mother, I’m sure).

  7. Knowing that everyday is precious every moment a gift and enjoying those to the max helps us to avoid the cruel taunting of an ethereal future. Fatherhood is a rush and given how intuitive you already are, you are going to do fine. Kick fear in the shin, and dream about what could be. Mazel Tov in advance.

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